Goals And Outcomes
by Rex Sikes
like to begin now to talk about goals... how we can set action
plans for achieving them and how to make them happen using NLP.
I suggest that you grab a pencil and paper if you'd like to write
down some of the methods that I am about to introduce you to.
many times have you heard people say that they are going to loose
weight or stop yelling at their kids or watched your kids with
their grand plans of what they are going to do, only to see them
repeatedly fail at their attempts. The reason is because they
have inadvertent programmed their brain to fail! We will see clearly
how this occurs and how you can stop it if it's happening to you.
what prevents people from getting their goals is fear of risk.
The problem is, EVERYTHING you do requires some risk. There is
a risk every time you get into a car! Successful people always
access the probability of the risk occurring and the benefits
of taking the risk and pursuing the goal ... and when in need,
enlist the aid of others, seeking input from friend or mentor.
other thing that prevents people from getting their goals is fear
of failure. If there is one thing that you take from this program
and incorporate in to your life from this moment forward it should
be this -- the simple concept that "failure equals feedback".
Failure is a signal to you that you need to learn another way
to do it. In NLP, we say that if what you are doing isn't working,
do anything else!!! Most people do the same behavior over and
over again and expect different results! If you do this, stop
it! It's insane! Just do something else, anything else.
Babe Ruth. He had the most strike outs AND the most home runs!
Anything worth doing well is worth doing poorly at first. After
all, when was the last time you became an expert at something
after you did it once? Learn to look at fear from a new perspective
and realize you will not achieve significant goals without some
you doubt your skills? Don't believe you can do it with what you
have - what will you do to increase your confidence? - learn from
other people who are getting the results you want, get practice,
do training programs, get a coach and confront the situation boldly.
Establish a realistic standard for success and work toward it.
When attempting something new, think: what skills or behaviors
are needed? Then go out and learn them. Changing isn't always
easy, anything that is unfamiliar is worth doing - if change is
scary, admit it, do a little at a time, try to seek out change
(for a change) and begin to view yourself as one who likes and
looks forward to change. Do lots of little new things, new restaurants
and foods, new friends and acquaintances, new books of different
genres. Too busy? Prioritize those things of most value and pursue
Setting rules of NLP
You must state goals in the positive -- what you do want, not
what you don't want. Nature abhors a vacuum. State what you want
not what you don't want. The brain deletes negatives.
You must be able to represent it to yourself by way of the 5 senses.
How do you see it, hear it, taste it, smell it, and feel it? Where
do you feel it, where do you want it, when and with whom?
You must be able to start or initiate your action independently
and be able to carry it out independently. It is what you can
do and not what others do that counts. How will you start it and
how will you carry it through to the end result?
The goal you are attempting to attain does not interfere in any
negative ways with your natural life state and that of others.
Is there anything that you would have to give up or sacrifice
when you make the change? How will you and others around you be
sub questions to ask yourself about this goal.
will having this goal do for me? (gets you larger outcome and
additional motivation)? What prevents me from having it right
now? Is this realistic?(When answering this question you will
most likely find something that you can do or change right away
today to make getting your goal possible.)
this goal a manageable size or is it too large for a first step?
What steps do I need to take in order to get this goal? What resources
do I have available to me right now to assist me in getting my
goal? Go and review five times when you were successful and see
what you did --What did you say to yourself? What were you doing?
How did you look, sound and move? Find at least five times and
feel how good it feels to be resourceful. When you've found some
powerful times, move them closer, make them brighter and in full
color to intensify those experiences for yourself.
I have my goal, what will I be seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling
and feeling that will let me know I have it? What will happen
if you make the change (both good and bad)? What could (if it
were to) go wrong?
else will this goal effect? Are there any possible negative consequences?
Is there anyone who might possibly object to you making this change
or having this goal?
and where do you want this change (It is very important to specify
time and the context)? What is going to happen when you make this
change? What is not going to happen when you make this change?
What is going to happen if you don't make this change (What is
the consequence if you don't make the change)? What is not going
to happen if you don't make this change?
need the sensory evidence to know whether you are on or off target
in getting your goal, and most importantly, you must do what is
necessary to get your goal. Action is the most important step. You
must make your plan and then do the plan. Each step along the way
must be small enough to be able to accomplish easily and yet large
enough to be motivating. (What will having this do for me? This
question can provide the motivating factor).
Is it testable and measurable? You need a way to know when you are
getting close to your goals, when you have arrived and when to stop.
How will you know when you have accomplished your goal?