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Goals And Outcomes

by Rex Sikes

I'd like to begin now to talk about goals... how we can set action plans for achieving them and how to make them happen using NLP. I suggest that you grab a pencil and paper if you'd like to write down some of the methods that I am about to introduce you to.

How many times have you heard people say that they are going to loose weight or stop yelling at their kids or watched your kids with their grand plans of what they are going to do, only to see them repeatedly fail at their attempts. The reason is because they have inadvertent programmed their brain to fail! We will see clearly how this occurs and how you can stop it if it's happening to you.

Often what prevents people from getting their goals is fear of risk. The problem is, EVERYTHING you do requires some risk. There is a risk every time you get into a car! Successful people always access the probability of the risk occurring and the benefits of taking the risk and pursuing the goal ... and when in need, enlist the aid of others, seeking input from friend or mentor.

The other thing that prevents people from getting their goals is fear of failure. If there is one thing that you take from this program and incorporate in to your life from this moment forward it should be this -- the simple concept that "failure equals feedback". Failure is a signal to you that you need to learn another way to do it. In NLP, we say that if what you are doing isn't working, do anything else!!! Most people do the same behavior over and over again and expect different results! If you do this, stop it! It's insane! Just do something else, anything else.

Remember Babe Ruth. He had the most strike outs AND the most home runs! Anything worth doing well is worth doing poorly at first. After all, when was the last time you became an expert at something after you did it once? Learn to look at fear from a new perspective and realize you will not achieve significant goals without some failures.

Do you doubt your skills? Don't believe you can do it with what you have - what will you do to increase your confidence? - learn from other people who are getting the results you want, get practice, do training programs, get a coach and confront the situation boldly. Establish a realistic standard for success and work toward it. When attempting something new, think: what skills or behaviors are needed? Then go out and learn them. Changing isn't always easy, anything that is unfamiliar is worth doing - if change is scary, admit it, do a little at a time, try to seek out change (for a change) and begin to view yourself as one who likes and looks forward to change. Do lots of little new things, new restaurants and foods, new friends and acquaintances, new books of different genres. Too busy? Prioritize those things of most value and pursue those.

Goal Setting rules of NLP

1. You must state goals in the positive -- what you do want, not what you don't want. Nature abhors a vacuum. State what you want not what you don't want. The brain deletes negatives.

2. You must be able to represent it to yourself by way of the 5 senses. How do you see it, hear it, taste it, smell it, and feel it? Where do you feel it, where do you want it, when and with whom?

3. You must be able to start or initiate your action independently and be able to carry it out independently. It is what you can do and not what others do that counts. How will you start it and how will you carry it through to the end result?

4. The goal you are attempting to attain does not interfere in any negative ways with your natural life state and that of others. Is there anything that you would have to give up or sacrifice when you make the change? How will you and others around you be effected?

Good sub questions to ask yourself about this goal.

What will having this goal do for me? (gets you larger outcome and additional motivation)? What prevents me from having it right now? Is this realistic?(When answering this question you will most likely find something that you can do or change right away today to make getting your goal possible.)

Is this goal a manageable size or is it too large for a first step? What steps do I need to take in order to get this goal? What resources do I have available to me right now to assist me in getting my goal? Go and review five times when you were successful and see what you did --What did you say to yourself? What were you doing? How did you look, sound and move? Find at least five times and feel how good it feels to be resourceful. When you've found some powerful times, move them closer, make them brighter and in full color to intensify those experiences for yourself.

When I have my goal, what will I be seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and feeling that will let me know I have it? What will happen if you make the change (both good and bad)? What could (if it were to) go wrong?

Who else will this goal effect? Are there any possible negative consequences? Is there anyone who might possibly object to you making this change or having this goal?

When and where do you want this change (It is very important to specify time and the context)? What is going to happen when you make this change? What is not going to happen when you make this change? What is going to happen if you don't make this change (What is the consequence if you don't make the change)? What is not going to happen if you don't make this change?

You need the sensory evidence to know whether you are on or off target in getting your goal, and most importantly, you must do what is necessary to get your goal. Action is the most important step. You must make your plan and then do the plan. Each step along the way must be small enough to be able to accomplish easily and yet large enough to be motivating. (What will having this do for me? This question can provide the motivating factor).

5. Is it testable and measurable? You need a way to know when you are getting close to your goals, when you have arrived and when to stop. How will you know when you have accomplished your goal?


   

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