for salespeople, parents, teachers, managers...
by Rex Steven Sikes
the largest profession on the face of the earth. Every business,
small and large, relies on it, because without it, they wouldn't
exist. Therapists, administrators, advertisers, doctors, teachers,
lawyers, even couples and parents do it. Yet, you still can't
get a college degree in it. It's selling.
of us are "selling" all the time. Yet, most of us don't
do it very well. Remember the last time someone laid a guilt trip
on you? How about begged or pleaded with you? Or the last time
a salesperson tried to push you into buying something you really
one likes beggars or pushers or those who's only objective is
to please themselves. Consider this: the livelihood of your employees
or children is connected to their obedience to you. An employee
or child may continue to perform and obey even while harboring
resentment. This can damage the reputation of your business when
they talk about you and seriously hurt your relationships by destroying
Learning "win-win" selling, where both parties are pleased,
not only effects our professional viability but also our personal
future. The main thrust of win-win selling and NLP sales techniques
is that everyone gets what they want.
how to influence others is your key to better communicating and
understanding between loved ones, business associates, community
and world leaders. Fortunately, by learning NLP, you know how
to convince others in respectful and meaningful ways. You know
how people are motivated, make decisions, and how they become
parents want their children to stay away from drugs. The question
is, how do you "package" your "sales pitch"
in ways that are appealing and irresistible to them so they do
stay away from drugs? It's easy when you learn how each person
has a specific way in which they become convinced of an idea,
purchase a product, or decide to do something.
first consideration for influencing others is to know when you
have made the "sale". Is it when your children stay
off drugs? When the customer signs the contract? When your employee
does what you've asked or when your husband does the dishes? The
answer is NO!!
have "sold" or convinced them only when your child comes
to you at a different time for advice or guidance! When the customer
comes back or sends you referrals! When your employee asks you
what else needs to be done! And when your husband routinely does
the dishes without needing to be asked first!
order to "make the sale" you need to use five basic
steps for successfully influencing another person. The five are:
1. get attention, 2. gather specific information, 3. packaging,
4. inoculation, and 5. test for close and close. In this article,
we will cover step one: get attention.
1. Get attention. A good example of getting attention is an Art
teacher in a Madison, WI grade school who dresses like a famous
artist once a month and the students love it! Kids today play
flashy video games, watch thrilling horror movies and listen to
upbeat, fast music. They are very sophisticated when it comes
to using modern technology, like computers. Yet, when in the classroom,
we usually give them four beige walls and a teacher with a monotone
voice. This isn't going to grab the attention of a kid who is
accustomed to a faster, more colorful and upbeat world.
cannot "sell" anyone anything unless you have captured
their attention first. Successful salespeople do things like carry
flowers or small gifts such as golf balls to appointments, use
humor, stories, or other techniques that captures a client's attention.
Feldman, a man who sold 6 million dollars worth of individual
life insurance, had an excellent technique for getting attention.
When he sat down with a client the first thing he did was open
up his day timer and money would pour out onto the floor!
use of Language Patterns, Value Elicitation, Strategy Elicitation,
Verbal and Non-Verbal Rapport, Embedded Commands, Presuppositions,
Ambiguities, etc., is essential to the successful and graceful
you have mastered the art of influence, you'll find that everyone:
your kids, your clients, your spouse get what they want and you
get what you want. It's sure beats begging, whining, and pleading!